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The Secret of Happy Successful People

In a training once, Zig Ziglar shared a story about a man seeking his help to be “successful” like the man’s boss. Zig had him list several categories down such as work, income, family, and friends. Next to each category he had the man give a score of a “PLUS” or a “MINUS” for how well his boss was doing in those areas. When he completed the grading the he realized that the only thing his boss had that he wanted was his wealth, and that the boss was quite poor in all of the other areas of life. That’s when he knew he didn’t actually want to be like his boss, and that being successful was so much more to him than just money.

We all want success and that for most of us, success means financial wealth/stability and feeling happy or contented at the end of each day. Unfortunately, most of have this tug-of-war inside of us where we seek higher income but then hold ourselves back because we fear it will drive us from our other goal to be happy. And it’s understandable, how can you achieve both when you don’t know how.

Of all the different principles, habits and techniques listed out there about what successful people do, some can be spot on, but most can leave you miserable because they focus purely on financial success. There are many things “successful” people do, but what can you do to be like those people on top, who are both happy and financially well off?

I want to share with you two things that the happy successful people in life do.

1. The first thing that truly successful people do are they choose to be happy.

That might sound ridiculous, maybe even dumb, but it’s actually a key to their success financially and emotionally. Here’s what I mean:

Most people look at their goals and they say, I will be happy WHEN I reach this goal. And when they fail to reach their goals(which are normally unrealistic and high), they get discouraged and give up. Because their present state is completely determined by a future circumstance, they will always fall victim to their circumstances.

Contrast that to people who choose to be happy now. It’s how they choose to be happy and find happiness in their journey that completely transports their thinking and habits from victim-like to heroic creator-like.

So, what does choosing happiness right now look like when these successful icons do it?

Choosing happiness right now means choosing to give time and mind to those things that also matter, like family, friends and health. They never forgot to live a life outside of their work. -Living like you can give all time and attention to your goal is a sure formula for burnout.

Choosing happiness right now means taking your goals seriously without taking yourself too seriously.

Choosing happiness right now means setting small goals along the way, and dreaming up new big ones to keep yourself inspired and motivated. Tunnel Vision leads to blindness- you will literally lose sight of why you’re doing what you’re doing, which always spells disaster.

Choosing happiness right now means choosing to smile and finding things to smile about.

Those who are happy are brighter, and that sort of presence attracts business, connections and opportunities.

2. They take time to celebrate their successes.

Successes come in large and small ways. For some reason, most of us think like we have to downplay the successes we’ve had and ignore the things we do right, as though we fear that doing so will scare off the end result we want to attain. When you choose to do this, you are literally shutting your brain off to emotional satisfaction (aka happiness) and incoming opportunities.

Celebrating successes also boosts your motivation and commitment to put forth your 110% effort into your work. The truly successful people, all along their journey, are willing to acknowledge and celebrate in some form, the successes they are achieving.

Here’s what you have to do. Celebrate when you know you’ve made a win, even if it’s small. Don’t ignore the win you know you made. As you grow in success and make a lot of wins frequently, you might not notice as many of the small wins which is fine. But, most important to celebrate the ones you see and especially when you feel yourself exhausted from all the work, when it feels mundane or new things aren’t seeming to come your way- that’s when you need to celebrate most.

Celebration isn’t going out and spending lots of money on clothes, food, party materials, etc. Celebration means getting excited; it means treating yourself or sharing with an associate or friend (someone who won’t get jealous or mock you) what you’ve done.

I know, this may all sound so hippy-dippy but it’s not. One self-made millionaire told me he would go out to his car and do a sort of dancing and cheering session where he would yell, whoop, and even do some bragging to himself for doing even small and simple things, especially when the small and simple things at work felt hard to conquer. This, he said, made all the difference for him to keep from spiraling into complete stagnation of thought and energy. He attributes much of his financial and emotional growth to his habit of celebrating his successes. To this day he still takes time to celebrate.

 

As you strive to become successful, remember that it’s possible to have both wealth and happiness, and that you should seek to make that your true meaning of success. Through practicing the habit of choosing happiness and celebrating, you will keep yourself emotionally and financially rich!

QUIZ: Are You a Spiritual Capitalist or Are You Living Unfulfilled

Take this simple quiz to determine whether you are living up to your full spiritual potential. Answer each questions on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being never and 5 being always.
  1. Do you feel like you have more to offer the world, like you aren’t quite fulfilling your potential?
  2. Are you letting your worries and doubts stop you from moving forward in life?
  3. Do you experience daily moments of discouragement?
  4. Do you spend most of your day involved in meaningless tasks?
  5. Do you feel like their are people in your life that are dragging you down?
Total up your score: If you scored 
  • 18-25 you are in spiritual bankruptcy and need immediate intervention so that you can raise your spiritual credit score
  • 11-18 you are in spiritual debt and could use some assistance
  • 5-11 you are making ends meet, but don’t have any reserves for a rainy day
  • lower than 5, good job, your spiritual bank account is full.
If you need help, here are 3 keys for increasing your spiritual capital:

1. Invest in yourself:

Did you know that, when faced with the decision, most small business owners are ten times more likely to invest money in their business than in themselves. This may seem like a savvy business practice, but is it really always best to put your business before yourself? Research has found that leaders who are actively involved in personal development are more productive, not to mention that they experience greater happiness and satisfaction with life. Often the best time and resources we can spend is in the pursuit of our better self. 

 

2. Surround Yourself with Spiritually Conscious Leaders:

According to Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. If you need to let go of some less than ideal relationships to make room for better ones, do it!!!

 

3. Become a Moment Millionaire:

Remember life is a journey, not a destination. If you are always thinking to yourself that you will be happy when you make money, or when you write that book, or when you close that next big deal, you are robbing yourself of the richest blessing of all, experience joy in the presence moment. Next time you find yourself feeling discouraged or sad, take a break to think about 5 things that are going right in your life, for which you have to be grateful.

How Do I Make Money Doing What I Love?

I am often asked, “How do I make money doing what I love?”

I am in contact with people every day who are like you. They just want to be both successful financially and feel fulfilled in their work. Luckily there is a way to have both and I will show you how.

In order to answer this, I’ll describe the process it requires as well as one major false concept to overcome in that process.

FIRST: Identify what you’re good at

Okay, let’s talk about the process of making money doing what you love.

If you’re going to make money doing what you love you first need to identify what gifts you have, what you’re good at, or can become exceptionally good at. Try eliminating those things you love to do but can not or would be best not to try to monetize; e.g. becoming an opera singer when you’re completely tone deaf.

talent

Make a list of all the gifts, talents and skills you have. Be sure to be honest with yourself. You may think, “But I already know what I love, and I love playing in my rock band.” That may be the case, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with doing something else. Don’t get so hung up on it being just one way. Remember, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

The reason this is important is because, first of all, our talents are ours to help or inspire others, which means you have things within you that are profitable. Secondly, you’ll often love what you’re doing if you are using those gifts to serve others in your work, which means your happiness and monetary success are quite malleable.

SECOND: Find the Value

In order for you to actually make money doing anything, let alone what you love, you have to provide value that other people are willing to pay for. If you want it to be sustainable, you’ll need to ensure enough people are paying you for that value. If only your mom will pay you for it then you aren’t actually providing value worth buying or you at least haven’t made enough people aware of it yet (a.k.a. marketing).

It’s important for you to take the time to figure out what people will pay you for. There are all sorts of jobs that exist which need the talents or skills you have. So do a quick Google Search. Apply for those jobs, or if you already know what you want to do, try and sell it, go out and do it, see where it takes you.

“In order for you to actually make money… you have to provide value that other people are willing to pay for.”

 

-Addressing the Elephant in the Room

elephantLet’s just call out the Elephant in the room. Most people live under this assumption that if you do what you’re most passionate about, you’ll magically make money. What a load of bologna! Things don’t magically happen, unless you’re actively attracting that magic (in other words “luck”) through consistent work.

Here’s the other Elephant in the room.

Many people are fed the idea: ‘Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.’ Not true! I have done the work, I’m still doing the work, and I know many people far more successful than I, and they too know this is a lie. (No one actually knows where this quote even came from: read here)

Here’s the truth about. The outcome can sometimes be so exhilarating that the work you did feels like nothing (at least for a time). However, in order for you to do what you love it will require you to do things you don’t love, but those things will increase your time and return on doing what you’re most passionate about. More on this below in THIRD.

THIRD: It takes Mettle!

Maybe you’ve already looked into jobs and have tried a million different things, or maybe you’re going to try this out. Eventually you will hit the same wall. The wall of: this sucks, I don’t want to do this.

At some point you’re going to realize something: Making money doing what I love involves doing a lot of things I don’t love. -Congratulations, you’ve stumbled onto another truth. This truth is known and embraced by the successful.

Any time you attempt to do anything there are obstacles to overcome. All work, all jobs will entail obstacles. Many people have small obstacles they are accustomed to dealing with because they are reaching small goals or not striving. Any time you really try to succeed, and reach greater heights like making money doing what you love, those difficulties are going to be much greater.

So how do you deal with any of this? By having mettle. In other words, pushing through this, not giving up, embracing what needs to be done and doing it.

“Making money doing what I love involves doing a lot of things I don’t love.”

It is completely unrealistic to expect that your work, no matter what it is, will be enjoyable and pleasant. Even super successful people who made a living doing what they love didn’t always enjoy it. Walt Disney, for example, was often super stressed out, spending all of his time trying to fix problems. He embraced that in order for him to achieve the outcome he wanted, he would need to push through the trials of finding enough money, overcoming bankruptcy, and fighting fierce competition with much better resources, etc.

And this brings me to the last point I want to emphasize:

FOURTH: OUTCOME vs PROCESS

I don’t want to paint the path to your success with gloom and misery because there’s actually a lot of sunshine. But the main problem most everyone faces when it comes to succeeding is changing their wrong thinking.

When people think about making money doing what they love, they normally begin mixing the OUTCOME with the PROCESS.

For example, imagine a man who wants to be an artist. He knows he can paint and he wants to make money doing that. What does he picture in his mind? He sees himself holding up a magnificent, finished painting before an admirer and then that admirer handing money to him and taking the picture home, leaving him with a smile on his face and a feeling of success. -This is the outcome.

artist

How did he get there?

What the artist doesn’t see are the countless hours he spent trying to get his layout just right on the canvas, getting the mix of colors just right, correcting mistakes, and even starting over. Then calling vendors and applying for shows to showcase his painting, driving there, setting up, and worrying that maybe his painting isn’t as good as the guy’s next to him. Then going to another show and another without a sale. Watching people walk by, trying to convince them to look at his painting and engage their interest. Late nights, early mornings; low pay, no pay, and dead ends. -This is the process.

He is completely oblivious to the process because all he sees is the outcome. And that’s what most of us do.

Yet, we should focus on the outcome, but we must learn to do so without allowing ourselves to become so disenchanted with the process that we give up on it. Succeeding is allowing our desires for the outcome to be brighter than the shadow of challenges in the process.

 

So, remember to keep your head level, don’t be disillusioned with the work before you. Making money “doing” what you love requires work, hence the word “doing”. If you didn’t have to work for it you would not love it. Change your thinking, identify your skills, and persevere through the process to obtain the outcome.

Purpose: Good Ideas Don’t Make Money

We have been speaking on common misconceptions about purpose. Here is the second one we need to address:

2. You can make a good income on your big ideas bulb

This speaks specifically about money, which means for all of us, it’s time to be real. You can’t live your purpose, no matter how good an idea, unless it can give you a return. Some say that they love what they do so much they don’t need to get paid doing it. But, if you can’t get a return on all of the work you put into your idea, you won’t be able to keep doing it. Eventually you’ll have to do something else to take care of your needs, in other words, earn some money.

To know if an idea is able to draw in good income, you will have to pursue that idea with passion and diligence to see what works and what doesn’t; then (this is key), adapt and change when necessary- even if that means dropping the idea altogether and going back to the drawing board. Your vision of your purpose will become more and more clear as you do this. Good ideas don’t make income- value and pursuit makes income. If it offers value to others and you pursue it vigorously, it will work.

It’s important, however, that you keep good ideas and purpose as separate things in your mind. Your purpose doesn’t necessarily change, but the idea or avenue you test to fulfill your purpose will need to change until it works. All to often we think HOW we go about fulfilling our purpose IS our purpose. The two are not the same.edison

No matter what, don’t give up on your purpose. Be resourceful, persistent and unwavering. Eventually, you will find a HOW that works.

View Previous Post: Confused About Purpose       Go To Next Post: You’ll Just Know…

Purpose: You’ll Just Know

Another misconception about purpose is one that many hopefuls repeat. It is:

Once you find your purpose you’ll just know it

Unfortunately, friends, family and even some “experts” say this same thing in more or less words. Not only is this ridiculously vague, it leaves you confused. It’s most helpful to provide some indicators or measurements for you to know you have pinpointed your purpose. These are two indicators that I want to share with you:

1. Can you monetize it?

2. Does it positively impact others or add value to their lives?

Ask yourself: why would monetizing it be an indicator? Because the simplest and most fundamental way to know if your purpose is actually your purpose is by the way people value it. People prove to you that what you’re doing is actually providing them value by paying you. It’s the act of putting their money where their mouth is. Anyone can say it sounds good, but will they pay for it? Money is the truest indicator.

Now, before you look purely into monetizing purpose you need to consider this second indicator. When trying to clarify your purpose, you have to keep your focus on others. You must be able to ask yourself if your purpose is positively impacting others and adding value to their lives, not just yours. Your true life purpose is never about yourself, and is always about others. It’s not truly your purpose if you’re doing it for selfish reasons. If your focus is all on making lots of money, you won’t make lots of money (at least not in good or fulfilling ways).

Purpose is about using your gifts, time, and talents to help others improve in some way. I have colleagues who’s purpose is to teach other’s how to be great at sales, or achieve optimal health, where I help people monetize their mission and reach their niche. I do it so others can go to bed each night feeling fulfilled and knowing they made a difference, and for some of my colleagues, they do it because they want others to have financial freedom, or to live vibrantly for their families. No matter what it is you do, your purpose will be about others.

Of the three misconceptions that you have read in the past 3 blog posts, you’ll notice that the same two things kept popping up: money and adding value to others. Understand that you cannot expect to be able to figure out making money and adding value just starting out. Run with an idea, test it out. Figure it out by trial and error. Of course, I recommend getting a mentor so you spend less time “trying” to get it right and more time getting it right the first time. Just know that your purpose only becomes clear by working it out enough to shake off all the uncertainties. As a mentor and speaker I have helped thousands around the world live their purpose successfully, which is why I can tell you with certainty that money and value are the clearest indicators of your purpose.

To learn more about how I can help you succeed, click here.

Read Previous Post: Good Ideas Don’t Make Money

Confusion about Purpose

There are some misconceptions that are common when it comes to your purpose and mission. These create confusion and cause so many to waste precious time and resources when they could actually be making lots of progress.

A few of the most common misconceptions are: If you have a purpose and you’re passionate enough, you will succeed; and you can make a good income on your big ideas; and once you find your purpose you’ll just know it.

If you are going to succeed it’s important I save you time and frustration by debunking these misconcepts. In this post I’ll unravel the first one:

If you have a purpose and you’re passionate enough, you will succeed

As much as this one might seem like it makes sense, let’s admit it, we all know people who are very passionate and aren’t successful. Now, some may ask, what do you mean by successful? From my experience and expertise success in your purpose is measured by both money and more importantly, impacting other’s lives. If you can’t do both, then you aren’t succeeding. If it’s your purpose it should be able to do both. Even people who work for charities or choose to donate all of their money to causes, must have money to cover naturally occurring expenses. In more rare cases some have family members that sponsor them to go do “XYZ” but that is extremely rare, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably not one of them.

So, how do you succeed? You find out how to fulfill your purpose by what you do and how others value it enough to exchange money for the benefits you provide them. When you do it correctly, the money does start to flow.

Next post: Good Ideas Don’t Make Money

5 Tips for Successful Entrepreneurs

There are a million ideas that run through the minds of budding entrepreneurs and just about as many suggestions for them as well. You have something you want to do, but you aren’t sure how to get it to really take off, and the advice out there can be confusing or conflicting. As one who has successfully launched two businesses, I want to share with you 5 tips that I know will help you because it’s exactly what helped me.

  1. Don’t listen to those who don’t know: sophOne of the biggest mistakes nearly everyone makes when fulfilling their dreams, is they listen to the wrong people. As you are struggling and working to make your goals a reality, your crazy dreams, your wild success, there will be a lot of naysayers and the most destructive are those closest to us, that love us. Just know, that if they haven’t made their dreams a reality, if they haven’t done it, then the only advice they can give you is advice that will only give you the same exact results they have.
  2. Do what scares you: Often what scares you the most is exactly what you need to do. As long as it’s moral, legal and ethical, go for it. Get outside of your comfort zone, put yourself in a position to be VULNERABLE. Why? Because when you’re vulnerable you’re authentic, and when you are vulnerable, you set yourself above 95% of all other people and become recognizable to your niche.
  3. Do what others won’t: Doing what scares you isn’t enough to be successful. It’s important that you study your competitors, or those who are doing something similar to what you are going for. See what they aren’t doing or aren’t willing to do, and do it. What others don’t do or won’t do is sometimes exactly what people want and will pay for. It’s as simple as adding an additional service or feature or support that makes your work over-the-top amazing!
  4. Listen to your niche: As much as you might wish that you could just come up with an idea, do it, and be successful, the reality is, you can’t be successful and live your dreams unless you give people what they want. So, no matter what you initially think people want, the only way to figure out what they want is talk to your niche. Talk to them, ask questions and listen. Listening means observing the way they spend their money. If you have a service that no one buys, then they are telling you that you might need to change something. People speak with their money.
  5. Double your efforts: No matter how much you think you are doing there is always something more that you can do. But, instead of being vague and saying you should do more, let me tell you that you should double your efforts in promoting yourself. Double, triple, or even quadruple any efforts that get you seen. If you post once or twice a day on Facebook and twitter, then post 4 times a day. If you’re only writing words in your posts, try using pictures and especially videos of yourself speaking and sharing ideas that are all about helping your niche, not talking about how awesome you are. You are only awesome to people if you treat them as awesome!

These are simple but vitally effective ways to go from obscurity to being known and successful. Application is key to everything, and if you apply nothing you gain nothing. So, as always, apply, apply, apply! Just try one of these. If had to suggest just one for you to start out with, it would either be #1 or #4. Those will be most valuable as you are getting started. Try each one and watch your results grow.

LEARNING SELF-LOVE:

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see your flaws and blemishes or your beauty and potential?

Many people have no problem reciting hundreds of flaws, but struggle to list off just a few good qualities or things they love about themselves.

How can you move past your insecurities? How can you embrace your God-given gifts and divine potential and see yourself for the truly marvelous and wonderful individual that you are?

The answer is to learn to see yourself through a divine filter. When God looks at us he sees our soul potential. He focuses on what we have been given, not what we don’t have. God also recognizes those weaknesses that are preventing us from becoming all we can, but instead of allowing those things to define our souls, He sees a way that we can learn and grow from them.

I did not always see myself through God’s eyes. In fact, for a large portion of my life I did what many people do, I focused on everything that was wrong with me. I could barely look at my own reflection because I would pick myself apart. It was a hard way to live and it prevented me from recognizing the many gifts and abilities I had that could bring me lasting happiness and bless the lives of many others. My self-image was truly stopping me in my tracks and preventing me from reaching greatness.

For those of you stuck in self-hate, self-criticism and self-doubt, you are not alone. Many people live this way, but there is a better way to live! Try this 3-day challenge to empower you to make a crucial shift in your life. You may find that as you implement these steps you will begin to love yourself. At the end of the challenge you will be able to see your divinity each time you look in the mirror.

3-Day Challenge (goes along with the Learning Self-Love Article)
Day 1: “Think success and it will happen.” -Thomas D. Willhite-

– Before you get out of bed in the morning, smile and think, “This is the best day of my life!”
– Before you do anything else take the time to meditate or pray. Express gratitude for the blessings in your life and imagine how you want your day to go.
How do you want feel?
Who are you going to help?
What are you going to accomplish?
– After your meditation or prayer, write down your intention for the day in your journal.
Pick one specific thing you would like to have happen that day.
– During the course of the day, reflect often on who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. This will be especially hard, but very helpful, when you find yourself in a less than desirable situation and you are put to the test.
– Before you go to bed, take time to reflect on your day. This can be done through prayer or meditation.

Day 2: “The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!” -Henry Ward Beecher-

– Repeat all the steps for day one and…
– Notice all the good things that happen to you throughout the day, however small they may be.
– Before bed, record in your journal all of the good things that happened that day.

Day 3: “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” -Buddha-

– Repeat all the steps for days one and two, plus …
– Pray to be able to see yourself as God sees you. Then,…
– Sit in front of a mirror for 10 minutes without thinking any critical thoughts or finding any flaws. You may only extend mental compliments and love to yourself. Only positive thoughts are allowed. If you want a real challenge, every time you criticize yourself, start over!
– Make a list of all the good things you accomplished during the day.

OVERCOMING PERFECTIONISM

Would you be surprised if I told you that the valedictorian of your local high school, a girl that was not only gifted academically, but was involved in several extracurricular activities and had many friends was suicidal and has attempted to take her own life? She showed no signs of depression, but deep inside the pressure was too much. What pressure you may ask? The pressure to be perfect, self-inflicted and totally destructive. So it is with the classic perfectionist. Anything short of perfect is unacceptable. Self-hatred and criticism are constant companions and you are your own worst enemy. An enemy that is unescapable.

Amber Stephenson was that girl. On the outside, she appeared to have it all together and was successful in the eyes of many, but deep down she was miserable. She was a classic perfectionist, constantly competing with herself and always coming out on the losing side.

Who is the typical perfectionist? Usually there are no public tears or meltdowns. The typical perfectionist seems to have it altogether, is well groomed, even beautiful. There is always a smile and they seem to be good at everything.

For Amber, she appeared to have it all together, but she was screaming inside, trapped in her own hand-crafted, gilded cage. Her friends and family had no idea of the living hell she was experiencing daily. Constant self-criticism and destructive internal dialogue can be fatal if left unchecked over a long period of time.

Luckily. Amber’s attempt to take her own life was not successful. It was a wake up call and when she recovered Amber knew that things had to change. She recognized that she was struggling with a form of depression that often accompanies perfectionism.
Amber decided that in order to become whole, she needed to look outside herself, to start helping others.

I have learned over the years that if you are in pain, you must give to match your pain and then, and only then, you just might forget yourself. That is just what Amber decided to do, becoming a nurse and recently developing an amazing program to help people who are struggling with depression and perfectionism. Today there is a depth to Amber’s smile and a God-like quality in her gaze, as if she is seeing you through His eyes.

There is hope for the perfectionist. As Amber began to look outside of herself and serve others, she felt a love that was contagious. She began to see herself through a divine filter and self-love and gratitide eventually replaced self-hatred and condemnation.

If you or someone you know is struggling with perfectionism begin by following these 3 tips:

1.
Find someone to serve.
This could be an individual, group or charity.

2.
Compliment yourself daily.
Give yourself a compliment out loud each day. (i.e. “I am a caring, capable mother.”)

3.
Keep a gratitude journal.
Each night before bed write down 3 things for which you are grateful.

INTUITIVE EATING

3 Simple Steps to Mind over Mouth

1. Write down what you eat throughout the day. This is not rocket science people! Simply write down a word or two describing the food or meal you ate. For example, write cold cereal if that is what you had for breakfast

2. Next to what you ate, write down a word or two describing how you felt an hour later. For example, you may write low energy or energized depending on how you feel.

3. Repeat this process daily for 3 weeks. It takes 21 days to create a habit. Your brain will start to recognize what foods are good for you and your body will start craving the foods it needs and not the foods your taste buds want!